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About Literature / Hobbyist RachelFemale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 5 Years
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Statistics 74 Deviations 209 Comments 3,262 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

One through Six
When I need to sleep
I don't count the sheep
I count the times
That you crossed my mind
And I find that
I'm doing fine.
Without you.
1, 2
I'm doing well
I hope you're okay.
I hope you don't have to dwell
On the last words that I had to say.
I've moved on.
I'm happy now, no longer pulled down
I can laugh and look to the future
Without being pulled to the past.
You infest every part of my mind.
I'm physically sick wishing things could have ended a little differently.
I don't sleep well at night, wide awake all the time.
The next day is hell and the cycle repeats.
When I need to sleep I
Don't count
The sheep.
I count the times that you cross my mind.
And I'm not as fine as I think.
:iconrachel-bea:Rachel-Bea 0 0
Hopeless, sad, confused
In love with pain, defused now
Free now, from the war
:iconrachel-bea:Rachel-Bea 0 0
I've been thinking
For years about
This part of me. Cut deeply.
And I'm fascinated by the gash.
Through the blood stained gauze
Left seeping.
Will my body turn to ash?
That night.
You held out your hand
You said "Save my life, you're the only one who can."
I lost everything, in hopes that I'd find you.
I've been a prisoner for years
Lacerations keep
Bleeding through all of my fears.
Do you care that I'm stuck here?
:iconrachel-bea:Rachel-Bea 1 0
I know what you think.
I know you can’t feel.
I know that your smile’s
not something that’s real.
Your heart beats inside your chest.
But your conscious shrinks with every breath.
Lie awake at night but your thoughts are dead.
You’re lying to yourself.
I know you all too well…
Because you’re just like me.
I know what you think.
I know you can’t feel.
I know that your smile’s
not something that’s real.
When you lie awake
remember your mistakes
Replaying them over and over
won’t make them fade away.
They’re not the same.
Monsters in the mirror
Makes it hard to see things clearer
Can they see it on the outside?
Have they uncovered what you can’t hide?
What makes you think that
You’re oh so much better?
Than every other
Maggot collector?
:iconrachel-bea:Rachel-Bea 1 0
He keeps his love at a distance.
Admires her from afar.
Siting outside he’s watching.
Waiting in a parked car.
He’s never been very happy.
He’s always hated himself.
He never had any confidence.
No hope to ask this one out.
His only hope in this life
Is disguising what he can’t hide.
He’s got this new found desire.
And he wants to try it out on her.
:iconrachel-bea:Rachel-Bea 0 2
Scars: Chapter One
He never liked silence. Silence may have been a peaceful bliss to others, but to him it was a tightening noose.  A sign that something had gone terribly wrong. Silence came before storms not in the midst of enlightenment.
Dead things were silent.
He killed the engine and remained behind the wheel as the car’s fading whisper disintegrated into the city life around him. He heard none of it. He unbuckled his seat belt. Inhaled, exhaled. At the sharp click of the spring releasing the latch of his seat belt, Leonardo jumped. The metallic click of a lighter held to gasoline saturated clothes on a sleeping body…The steel clack of a trigger being pulled back followed by the explosive release. He returned his shaking hands to the wheel in a white knuckled grip. He let his eyes shut, hoping to slow his heartbeat or steady the tremors that seemed to live within every cell of his body.
The cold weight of the barrel of a gun against the back of his neck sent chills up hi
:iconrachel-bea:Rachel-Bea 1 3
King and Inferior
Jenna stared wistfully at the carton of strawberry ice cream behind the glass. Her breath began to cloud and distort her vision of the blissful safe haven that awaited her, when Dave saw her.
“Jenna…” He had a monotonous voice, maybe it was from years of perpetual boredom, maybe he just lacked the things that gave a voice range…like a personality.
David let out a sigh when Jenna’s gaze was unwavering from that container of ice cream.
“Jenna.” He repeated, “We don’t need ice cream right now, we need to go.”
“Go?” She asked as if she were in a dream state. Her voice was a special tone of airy tonight, she was lost in an imagined reality where she could take that ice cream off the shelf and into her bedroom where she would eat every last bite of it, “Where?”
“Back to the car. Come on.” David looked to the stopwatch that timed their trip, they were already in the store for six minutes. An eterni
:iconrachel-bea:Rachel-Bea 0 3
4 AM
You fall in love
when you can't fall asleep
And every night
you make the same mistake
It's 4am
And nothing's really changed
We're still the same
Hope for sleep to remind us how to dream
We fall apart
And we're broken together
Life's not enough
We'll find peace in each other
We fall apart
And learn to hate each other
This is life to me
I'll never love another
You fall in love
When you can't fall asleep
I fell in love
With the you in my dreams
It's not enough cause
You're damaged too deeply
Love someone and they hurt you
Just by bleeding.
:iconrachel-bea:Rachel-Bea 1 1
The truth it sticks to your teeth.
Like the cigarette that hangs from your lip.
The smoke poisons your breath.
Careful, don’t let them see your mask slip.
Sometimes I wonder what you were like
Before they ate at your insides
Sometimes I wonder what you were like
Before shards of glass cut you apart
Is it true a lie becomes reality
When you deny the fact of your mortality?
Is it true that you can live forever
Always together, if you never open the breakup letter?
Sometimes I wonder what it’s like
Inside the walls of your mind
Sometimes I wonder what it’s like
To use a mirror just to watch yourself die.
:iconrachel-bea:Rachel-Bea 2 4
Jen and Jared :iconrachel-bea:Rachel-Bea 0 3 Devinn :iconrachel-bea:Rachel-Bea 0 0 Devinn and Jesse :iconrachel-bea:Rachel-Bea 1 2
Nicole Harper. The world’s worst person. The young girl with the face that everybody loved, but the personality and past that only ever seemed to repulse those who got close to her. The girl with the half-hearted smile and broken hazel eyed gaze that was often lost underneath her gorgeous appearance. Her long legs, her slender body and shimmering dark blonde hair… No one ever noticed the pain that seemed to radiate off of her. She saw it when she looked at herself in the mirror. If they noticed, they all seemed to act like Julie and Dave. They ignored it. Regarded her with disgust, a look that said they were only dealing with her until the next family who signed up for this mess would take her off their hands.
Dave and Julie had left for work twenty minutes ago. They left and took their child, a nine year old boy named Cameron, with them. If they said goodbye she couldn’t remember… They always seemed to slip out the door and leave her to rely on friends for ri
:iconrachel-bea:Rachel-Bea 0 1
His feet were already numb. He should have listened.
His eyes were watering, and his body was beginning to ache. He should have waited.
The jacket he thought would be warm enough, wasn't keeping the icy wind from turning his body into an ice cube. With his head down, he forced himself to keep walking, he didn't let himself think about how cold he was, or the fact that he would love to be inside a heated building right now.
He continued to march on, knowing that he wouldn't sleep until this was taken care of.
He walked until he reached the end of the driveway. This was the house he wanted, this was the cause of so many questions. He walked up the driveway confidently, with his hands in his pockets. Rather than knocking on the front door, he walked into the grass and directly around to the backyard. He knew where to find the person he needed to talk to, he knew they wouldn't be in the house, and they would never answer the door no matter how politely he knocked.
"Stop it!" He shouted, "S
:iconrachel-bea:Rachel-Bea 1 5
There was a change in Devinn and I think it could be measured greatest, in the way it affected everyone around him. They always tell you that people change in high school, they grow up or move on without you, they turn into monsters and rebels or they find a place in the world and have a plan that doesn’t quite seem to involve you. I remember being ten years old, and looking at Devinn, looking at Frank and knowing that we were going to be brothers forever. We made it through middle school while other groups started to fall apart, we made it through freshmen year when everyone else arrived to school to find their best friend was someone else entirely. We helped Devinn make it through his parents’ divorce that year. We survived sophomore year, we helped Frank get his first girlfriend and then we were there when he broke down and almost cried when she broke up with him.  Junior year wasn’t very different from any other year. At least the start of it wasn’t.
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“Shaaaawwwnnnnn… Answer your fucking phone you fucking asshole!” Frank wasn’t one to favor leaving voicemails, if his etiquette was any sign.
“Leave him alone!” Devinn took his phone back from Frank. The two stood at the top of the steepest bowl in the skate park, waiting for their friend.
“He said he had something to show me. Do you know how hard it is for me to wait two weeks for anything? Much less to see a trick that he’s been working on for hours without letting me come with him?” Frank dropped his board to the pavement and stomped a foot on it.
“Frank,”Devinn laughed, “Did you ever come to the skate park when he said he was here?”
“No… He said I couldn’t see the trick yet, it was a surprise…”
“So, you have no way of knowing whether or not he was actually here.” Devinn smiled, “Frank, I don’t think he’s been dedicating so much time to a skate
:iconrachel-bea:Rachel-Bea 1 0


Maeveen :iconzombiefishiez:ZombieFishiez 11 2 Two of a kind :iconzombiefishiez:ZombieFishiez 4 6 Kira doodle :iconzombiefishiez:ZombieFishiez 6 2 Prize 1 - omnino :iconzombiefishiez:ZombieFishiez 4 3 Request 1: Aedemi :iconzombiefishiez:ZombieFishiez 5 2 Floating :iconzombiefishiez:ZombieFishiez 17 2 Dovana Ellisia :iconzombiefishiez:ZombieFishiez 4 4 I'm a sneaky ninja... :iconzombiefishiez:ZombieFishiez 12 0 Dead Queen :iconzombiefishiez:ZombieFishiez 7 0 MS5 test :iconzombiefishiez:ZombieFishiez 2 2 carnival macabre :iconjesidangerously:jesidangerously 30 1 Macabre Portrait :iconrylieoh:RylieOh 21 0 Macabre Masquerade :iconaselclub:aselclub 24 0 Danse Macabre :iconcorvinerium:Corvinerium 489 132 Amy Lee :iconcourtopi:Courtopi 2 0 Jesse?? :iconzombiefishiez:ZombieFishiez 1 2


  • Listening to: Senses Fail
  • Watching: Primus Videos!!
So, in the process of planning a short story to write and toss up here tonight... I have just planned another novel. ~.~
The plan was to come up with a quick character.... then I named him and fell in love.

The idea is exciting, and unlike my other idea that I'm working on this one will feature completely new characters (brothers Nathan & Nick and others)

So my question is why?
Why did I have to get hit in the face with a possibly awesome idea?
Why now?
Why when I have a test to study for?

Why? Why? Why? Why?

I can't complain though, this idea is another "psychological" story, like the last one I wrote was.

and switching from Chase to this idea every now and then will definitely help relax my "William/Chase/Charlie/Edwin" writing muscles...


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devonrutkowski Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Student
Thank you for the favorite!!!
Rachel-Bea Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
The-Seventh-Sage Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Professional Writer
Found you on the NaNoWriMo site. I am now watching you :D.
Rachel-Bea Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Hi fellow NaNoer! Good luck this year! :) Thanks for the watch
The-Seventh-Sage Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2012  Professional Writer
You are very welcome :D. Good luck to you too!
kat2090 Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2012  Student Artist
hey ur art so cool.

Esau13 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fave!
Rachel-Bea Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome ^.^
Labrinth63 Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for the :+fav: :hug:
Rachel-Bea Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
you're welcome! :)
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